“If only I could be Bacon” mumbled David, who was just a runt of a pecan. “No one even talks about us when they eat us… unless it’s ‘I have nuts stuck in my teeth’…” He heaved a heavy sigh. Then he glanced across the kitchen counter, there she was, Jillian… tall, smokey, plump, and breathtakingly beautiful. She laughed with her friends… they were so excited.
“Soup!” one of them exclaimed, “I always thought I’d end up on a BLT but this is glorious!” another giggled. “My mother was wrapped around a water chestnut… isn’t that wild?!”. They continued to excitedly chat as they got ready to jump in the frying pan. “I’ve been working on my Pan Bod all year!!”
David sulked and tumbled over to the other side of the bowl he was in. “Do you think I even have a chance with her?” He asked one of the bigger pecans… Butch. “No kid, she’d smother you, you should find yourself a nice little peanut… besides, nuts never end up with bacon… it just ain’t right”. Another sigh… David started thinking, “I just don’t know what to do! I can’t stop thinking about her, the way she talks, the way she moves… I know I’m dead meat when she gets in that frying pan and starts to sizzle!”
The bacon girls interrupted David’s daydreams with another burst of laughter! They were just about to get into the frying pan and David tried to muster up some courage. “What’s the worst that could happen?” he thought, “They could laugh at me… but that’s a daily occurrence in the nut bowl. So what!” And with that he jumped out of the bowl and started to hop his way across the counter. He cleared his throat, “excuse me?” He squeaked out, his voice sounded exactly like what you would imagine a small pecan’s voice to sound like. No one heard him and he took a deep breath and this time, the words came booming out, “Excuse me but may I talk to you?”. Startled by his own voice, he took a hop backwards.
“Hello Mr. Pecan” he heard one of the girls whisper to Jillian in a very sexy voice… then they locked eyes, he froze, partly in fear and partly in awe. He didn’t know what to do and almost turned to hop away when all of the sudden she answered him and said “Of course you can, Mr. Pecan! You’re a peCAN after all, not a PeCAN’T”. The group of girls burst into laughter… he could feel himself turning a deep brown (after all, pecans don’t blush pink).
He brushed it off. David straightened up and stood as tall as a small pecan can, “Well… you can laugh all you want but I just wanted to tell you that I think you’re beautiful, and funny, and smart, and I’m so happy we get to be in the same soup together… but what I want more than anything is to kiss you… and I know I’m just a runt of a pecan and you’re a great big piece of smokin’ hot bacon… but if we were to end up next to each other in the soup, I would take care of you, and hold you, and love you, and be there for you… whenever you need anything.”
There was a silence, no one was laughing… again David thought that maybe he should just leave them alone and forget all of that had happened, and then Jillian opened her mouth, she looked as if she could cry, with a deep breath she said “wow… um… I don’t even know your name but that is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me… most guys just tell me I look delicious and all I want to say to them is ‘I’m not just a piece of meat’… but thank you! I don’t really know what else to say because we’re about to become soup but I hope we end up next to each other too”.
And with that, Jillian and her friends were scooped up and laid into the frying pan. David’s heart dropped as he thought about what might have been. He felt sad for a moment, but he knew deep down that it was better this way… he felt so much more confident, the other nuts in the bowl would have to respect him now because the hottest food there ever was talked to him.
Okay so getting on to the soup! I was inspired at The Lotte Palace Hotel in NYC (yes, that’s the Gossip Girl hotel) because we just had a big weekend there for work and one of the appetizers was a butternut squash soup. So, I tried to make my own take on it and see what happened. First of all, the pecans are candied in butter and MAPLE CREAM, from Michigan. One of my BFF’s (Elizabeth, pictured below with her husband (Big Tom) and two girls who I ADORE, Hope & Faith) gifted me with some Maple Cream while I was in Michigan… cut to me sitting in my hotel room separating it into smaller containers so I could get it through airport security – I DID! 🙂 (Last time I got turned away by security so then I sat in the waiting area and ate two ounces of maple cream from the jar with my fingers and then went back through… quite sticky, they must have thought I was psycho). So the pecans are really sweet and yummy thanks to Big Tom’s Maple Syrup!
Elizabeth also gave me the idea of putting coconut milk in the soup instead of cow milk or cream, which a lot of recipes call for. I honestly think the coconut is a better flavor combo with the squash and made it even better!
What’s in it?
- Butternut Squash (peeled, cubed and boiled for 20 minutes)
- Coconut Milk (After the squash was strained, I just kept adding the milk until it was a good consistency, probably about 1.5 cups).
- Bacon on the side (no explanation needed, leave it out if that’s not your jam)
- Chives for a garnish
- Dash of sour cream (take this or leave it, I actually think it’s probably better without, but it looks pretty with it in there, the second bowl I had, I left out the sour cream).
- Dash of cinnamon
- Dash or two of garlic powder
- A few dashes of onion powder
- Good amount of salt (do you love how specific this is?? I’m not really one for following directions or measuring things… just guess and adjust as you go. I also put a bunch of salt in the cooking water for the squash so it got more flavor then too).
- Some black pepper (make sure it’s exactly the right amount: as much as you want).
Once the squash is done boiling for 20 minutes it’ll be super easy to strain and squish, I just used a serving spoon and it mushed into a nice soupy consistency and then just add the coconut milk as you stir. It was basically no work at all to do it this way but just because I wanted it to be super smooth, I tossed it in the blender for about 10 seconds but that wasn’t really necessary.
So seriously you all, for the love of David & Jillian – MAKE this soup! It’s the easiest thing ever and it’s heavenly, so flavorful. It really is a great comfort food! You could easily whip it up after work in about 30 minutes (bacon is definitely not necessary, I just was feelin’ it but normally I don’t use much meat in my cooking).
Let me know if you make it and how it turns out or what you do differently!!